Le surf

One of the other assistants and I have been going surfing every Wednesday at La Plage des Surfeurs in Tartane, a neighborhood of Trinité.

I felt like a bad Californian for never having gone before I got here, but the first day I went, I had an absolutely wonderful time. I was able to stand up on the board several times, and everyone told me that I was débrouiller-ing very well for a beginner.

I was able to do the hard part -- standing up -- right away. It was easy for me to balance on the board because of gymnastics, but later on, it became clear that I was struggling a lot with la rame, the paddling. And that, in turn, has led to other problems.

After a few too many times in the machine à laver (the washing machine, what they call it here when you wipe out), a few too many times being hit on the head with the surfboard in the midst of a violent wave, a few too many scoldings by other surfers for getting in the way (there's surfing etiquette that you're definitely expected to follow), and I'm starting to lose heart. I'm not improving now because I'm too scared to try anymore, because I know I'll mess up, and look dumb, and everyone will laugh. I know it's childish and that I'm not in middle school anymore, I shouldn't be this insecure, but needless to say, today, I did a whole lot of helpless paddling and ducking under waves.

When I'd gotten out of the water, I lay in the hammock we'd brought and looked out at the ocean. It really was a gorgeous day. After days of the cyclone, of absolutely crappy weather, it was nice to be outside again. I watched the other surfers, effortlessly riding waves, and I realized, isn't this is really what surfing's all about -- the joy of simply being en plein air on a beautiful beach on a beautiful island, surrounded on all sides by sparkling ocean and warm sun?

Our surf teacher, Pascal, told us before we began that "Le seul but, c'est le plaisir." Literally, the only goal is pleasure. We're here to have fun, and I need to remember that. You can't worry about how many waves you'll catch, whether or not you're better than X, Y, or Z, about what other people will think of you. It's true of surfing, but also of life, too, no? Not to say that we should all be hedonists, but I do know that I (and probably many people, I'd guess) take myself far too seriously sometimes.

On another, unrelated note, pardon my franglais. Sometimes I really do have trouble finding the right words in English.